work in progress
*Thursday, October 19, 2006*
21st
was talking to hx on the phone just now. its as if we dont see each other enough. haha..
talked about celebrating 21st birthdays. wondered who'll come if i had a party or celebration of some sort. tried counting and damn there wouldnt be too many. haha in fact its a pathetic few souls. my 21st birthday would be on a tuesday but celebrations and gatherings usually occur on weekends coz its supposed to be a time when more people are free. apparently, its not very true. a friend talked about her 21st. only 3 pathetic friends turned up. no im not saying shes anti social or has no friends or is a bad person. she just happened to have bad friends who couldnt give up some of their time away from their boyfriends or people who couldnt keep to their promises to turn up. i decided quite some time ago that birthdays werent important.
it would be unfair to my friends but im a selfish person. i choose to think that way so i'd feel better. i've been thinking about myself a lot lately. putting myself as priority, thinking less about how other people feel. someone told me just a couple of days ago that shes learning to put herself on the top of the list and shes leading an easier life (that would be because this person i know is ultra nice to her friends and anyone who knows her.. it gets tiring) why be so hard on yourself? okay i digressed.
about her birthday, she felt angry of course. anyone would. the people who turned up came with their bfs. of course its better than nothing but if im not wrong they left for a movie? like huh wtf?! i would have slipped into depression coz of this, judging from the fact that it was a once-in -lifetime important day that meant a lot to her.
moral of the story: do not have parties. birthdays are unimportant.
hx told me she read something like this somewhere but i cant rem e exact words. think i twisted it a lot but..
i like this: everyones gonna end up dead. why bother which route you take?
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