work in progress
*Wednesday, April 26, 2006*
contracting brain
its worse than a roller coaster. this i mean my emotions, mood, feelings.. they change so swiftly till i really dont know how i actually feel now. much has been happening, not in the physical sense but in my mind. theres a lot of internal 'debate' and lots of activities and incidents that enter one after another. theres quite a bit of stress there.
being un-smart really isnt helping. most people have received their letters to accept or reject their choices offered to them. (hopefully everyone rejects the choices that i want argh. and do it fast.) i know my chances of a successful appeal is really low but i know i hafta give it a try.
got a letter from SIM. they're kinda crazy. u have to decide within 2 wks whether u want the course and pay like $4000+ over to them before they can even confirm u. and shld u decide not to go for the course, u will only be able to get probably about 75% of ur money back. thats like $1000 lost. and how are we supposed to get so much money within such a short period of time. hmm. i know what i want to do and what i might end up doing and i do not regret my choice. but im very sorry that my choice has partially influenced someone else. and shes stuck now. im so sorry.... if only we were more brave.
set aside the heavy stuff, my filing job will be ending tmr and i will be jobless again. im rather happy actually.. with all these short commitment jobs. gives me a chance to go to different environments. some might say that i wun learn anything or experience much in 2 wks or so but i think i have.. at last i know some stuff abt starhub people. haha but its like end of april alr, theres like so little time left to enjoy this kinda slacker lifestyle. if school starts, we'll hafta start studying again. our time after school will yet again be taken up by homework projects revision, sometimes i think that working is still better.. at least u dont have to think about other things when ur back at home. my mind's so messed up now like a tornado just went through it. i can almost feel my brain contracting! (eww mashed up brain sucks. haha)
i feel that im complicating myself a lot.. im making life difficult for myself. what for?!?!! damn im talking to myself and contradicting myself again. sometimes i really feel like an idiot when i blog. like im talking to myself and confusing myself. haha ah whatever. sleep is more important! last day of work tmr yay!
oh yeah... not to forget mentioning another thought. the cheng2 yu3 "zhong4 se4 qing1 you3" never fails to prove that its true every now and then. its natural but still sad sometimes. maybe immersing ourselves into the happiness of the other ppl at the same time would be better
cheers for everyone!
... 12:09 am ...